Join us as we bid farewell to one of our favorite comedians, Lizzy Pilcher. Hosted by Paul Merrill, with Bob Kitson, Virginia Jones, Christian Ricketts, Mike Drucker & more!

Since its founding in 2005, Laff Hole has played host to some of the finest up-and-coming comedians in the northwest.  During its five year run, local favorites like Reggie Watts, Hari Kondabolu and Rory Scovel have gone on to perform on “Live at Gotham,” “Jimmy Kimmel Live” and “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.” National headliners like Pete Holmes, Matt Braunger and Robin Williams have dropped by to do guest sets.

The fifth anniversary show, June 2nd at Chop Suey, will be a celebration of all the comics who have shared the Laff Hole stage. The show will be hosted by two of the show’s founders, Kevin Hyder and Emmett Montgomery.   The musical guest will be The Pale Pacific and Seattle’s own Jon Keister of “Almost Live!” will be the headliner.

Holy crap, is it the second Wednesday of the month already? That means it’s time for another Laff Hole!

And have we got a treat for that ass! Our headliner is Ms. Rylee Newton!

Rylee Newton has appeared on Comedy Central’s Premium Blend, Jimmy Kimmel Live! and at the US Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colorado. She has also appeared in my dreams. Hmmmmm….. Newton-y.

But, that ain’t all, not even a little bit. We also have one of Seattle’s favorite sons, Mr. Dan Moore!

Raised in a small town, Dan is big-city-funny. His opinions and interpretations about politics, life, and love are magical to watch. The Stranger Slog called him “Jarring and hilarious!” He has headlined the Week of Fun comedy festival, and has developed a niche for himself that has all the newness and creativity of the alternative comedy scene, while still being palatable and accessible and just damn funny!

You ready to pop from excitement, yet? Well then hold on to your expletive deleted, because our musical guest is the band Lady Drama!

Lady Drama plays a unique brand of melodic rock that The Stranger describes as “hopeful, intricate music - perfect for an early-autumn evening.”

Along with all that goodness, we’ve also got:

Barbara Holm
Seth Lazear
Brett Hamil
The Phrase-Off!
Surprises!
Hugs?
And host Brian Boshes!

Chop Suey
1325 East Madison Street
Seattle, WA 98122-4058
(206) 324-8005
$7.00, 9:00pm 21+

Come hang out. We’ve missed you. How’s your mom?

At age four, I was walking, talking and freshly out of the diaper phase of my youth. Thusly, every moment of my life was filled with the terrifying threat that I might very well crap my pants at any moment. My parents lived in constant fear of this when they took me out to birthday parties, get togethers and the many, many funerals we had to attend, belonging as we did to a large family of Christian Scientists.

It was a time of great anxiety for me, having the basic knowledge that pants crapping was considered to be wrong, yet not having full confidence in my ability to stem the seemingly unstemable tide of crap. My pants just seemed so very, very intent on being crapped, and at times it seemed that their will would not be denied.

A stack of my He-Man Toys collapsing. An older brother combining Pop Rocks and Jolt cola to explosive effect. That scene in ET where they find ET all white and dead looking in a ravine. Threats of involuntary pants crapenings were abundant in the early 1980’s.

I had an imaginary friend named “Dlagon”. Dlagon was how I pronounced “Dragon” when I was four, and also nowadays when I’ve had too much ketamine. Dlagon and I would play my favorite game “president of the world”, and he would give me advice.

“What do you think, Dlagon? Should we do battle with the great horde of random Star Wars and HeMan characters tribe?” I would ask.

“I don’t know” he would reply. But you should definitely crap your pants right now.”

“How could that possibly help our side in this epic war?”

“Well, it would feel good for you. And, you know, you’d get to have another one of those rare talks with your dad”.

“Dlagon?” I said, “I knew there was a reason I made you my secretary of pants crapping.”

That year, my parents took me to see Santa Claus at the local mall, and when they sat me on that strange alcoholic man’s lap, I immediately crapped my pants. I was mortified. “If I really was Santa Claus”, he said, “I’d put a goddamn cork in your stocking. Ho ho ho that’ll be four bucks.”

But age four was not all about pants crapping for me. Often times I would wet my bed, and vomit on things and bleed inexplicably from the palms of my hands. And that was what age four was like for me–a constant race against time to fill my body with fluids faster than I could disgustingly eject them.

It was also the year that I was kidnapped and raised by badgers for seven months. There is very little worth mentioning about this time in my life.  I did not crap my pants once, because the badgers did not require that I wear them.  All I really did was lie around in the badger den, eating the baby birds and hornet larva that my surrogate family would bring to me by the pawful.  Occasionally I would have to gnaw through one of my badger brothers’ or sisters’ legs when they got caught by trappers, but for the most part it was a lazy and uneventful time in my life.

The question that I get asked most often about my experience is “What does badger milk taste like?”  I always say the same thing.  It tastes like ostrich milk, only stringier.

Eventually my badger parents booted me out of the clan, probably because of the smell.  I went back to my homosapien family and eventually, with a lot of hard work and determination, I was able to stop crapping my pants.  And then, the next day, I was off to college.  But that’s another chapter.